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Chapter 2: Gearing Up 29

Weapons of our fore! fathers

The earliest players carved their own clubs and balls from wood. Later, skilled craftsmen assumed the task. Long-nosed wooden clubs are the oldest-known designed clubs — and the most enduring equipment ever conceived, remaining in use from the 15th century until the late 19th century.

Long-noses were made from pear, apple, beech, or holly trees and were used to help achieve maximum distance with the feathery golf ball, which dates all the way back to 1618. Later, other parts of the golf setdeveloped: play clubs, which included a range of spoons with varying lofts; niblicks, a kin of the modern 9-iron (TaylorMade R7 Iron Set)or wedge that was ideal for short shots; and a putting cleek — a club that has undergone (and is still undergoing) perhaps the most rigorous experimentation. I know that my putters have undergone severe tests of stamina and stress. ou’re probably familiar with the I’m-goingto- hrow-this-thing-into-orbit-and-let-Zeus-seeif- e-can-putt-with-it test, as well as the ver-popular break-it-over-my-knee-so-it-can’tharm- nyone-again test. These tests should be onducted only by professionals. he development of the gutta percha ball, much arder than a feathery, forced club makers to ecome truly revolutionary. Some club makers tried using leather, among other materials, in their clubs in an attempt to increase compression and, therefore, distance (obviously, a recurring theme throughout the ages). Others implanted metal and bone fragments in the clubface. In 1826, Scottish club makers began using hickory imported from the United States

to manufacture shafts, and hickory was quickly adopted as the wood of choice. It’s probably a good thing that the fore! Fathers never saw what may have been the goofiest innovation of all: the orange ball Jerry Pate used to win the 1982 Players Championship.

Clothes: How to Dress Like a Pro

The easiest way to date an old picture of a golfer, at least approximately, is by the clothes he or she is wearing. Sartorially, the game has changed enormously since the Scots tottered ’round the old links wearing a jacket, shirt, and tie. Back at St. Andrews, the restraint of the clothing affected the golf swing. Those jackets were tight! In fact, I believe that was the single biggest influence on the early golf swings. A golfer had to sway off the ball and then let his left arm bend on the backswing to get full motion. Also, he had to let go with the last three fingers of his left hand at the top of the swing. It was the only way a golfer could get the shaft behind his head. Put on a tweed jacket that’s a little too small and try to swing. You’ll see what the early golfers had to go through. Fabrics have changed from those days of heavy wool and restricted swings. Light cotton is what the splendidly smart golfer wears today — if he or she hasn’t switched to one of the new, high-tech fabrics that wick perspiration away from the body. (I always said golf was no sweat.) Styles have changed, too. When I came on tour in the early 1970s, polyester was the fabric of choice. Bell-bottoms and bright plaids filled golf courses with ghastly ridicule. We’ve evolved to better fabrics — and a softer, more humane existence on the course. Some guys on tour now wear expensive pants with more-expensive belts. And a few, like Jesper Parnevik, are known for the retro look — plaids and pastels like we wore back in the ’70s! But most players wear off-the-rack clothes provided by clothing manufacturers. Women have undergone an enormous fashion transformation on the course, too. Years ago, they played in full-length skirts, hats, and blouses buttoned up to the neck. All very restricting, I imagine. Now, of course, they’re out

there in shorts and pants.

First of all, dress within your budget. This game can get expensive enough; there’s no need to outdress your playing partners. My general rule is to aim to dress better than the starter at the course. (The starter is the person in charge of getting everyone off the first tee.) The starter’s style is usually a reflection of the dress standards at that particular golf course. If you’re unsure about the style at a particular course, give the pro shop a call to find out the dress code.The bottom line is to dress comfortably and look good. If you dress well, you may appear as if you can actually play this game with a certain amount of distinction. People can be fooled. You never know!

Golf shoes are the final aspect of a golfer’s ensemble. Shoes can be a fashion statement — alligator or ostrich. They can be comfortable — tennis shoes or sandals with spikes. They can take on the lore of the Wild West in the form of cowboy boots with spikes or, as my mentor Fairway (PING Rapture V2 FAIRWAY WOODS)Louie used to highlight his golfing attire, they can even be military combat boots.

30 Part I: Getting Started: No, You Can’t Hit the Ball Yet

What’s on the bottom of the shoe is all the rage now. The traditional metal spikes have been replaced with all sorts of soft spikes. Soft spikes reduce spike marks and wear and tear on the greens. They’re also easier on the feet. If the style of shoes is worthy, you can even go directly from the golf course to the nearest restaurant without having to change shoes. The golf world is becoming a simpler place to live.

Accessories: The Stuff You Need

When it comes to accessories, there’s a whole golfing subculture out there.

By accessories, I mean things like

_ Covers for your irons

_ Plastic tubes that you put in your bag to keep your shafts from clanging together

_ Tripod tees to use when the ground is hard

_ Golf watches that keep your score

_ Rubber suction cups that allow you to lift your ball from the hole without bending down

I’ve even seen a plastic clip that fits to the side of your bag so that you can “find” your putter quickly. You know the sort of things. Most accessories appear to be good ideas, but then you often use them only once. The place to find all this sort of stuff is in the classified advertising sections of golf magazines. But take my advice: Don’t bother. Real golfers — and you want to look and behave like one — don’t go in for that stuff. Accessories are very uncool. The best golf bags are spartan affairs and contain only the bare essentials:

_ About six balls

_ A few wooden tees

_ A couple of gloves

_ A rain suit

_ A pitch-mark repair tool

_ A few small coins (preferably foreign) for markers

_ Two or three pencils

_ A little bag (leather is cool) for your wallet, money clip, loose change, car keys, rings, and so on

Chapter 2: Gearing Up 31

Your bag should also have a towel (a real, full-size one) hanging from the strap. Use your towel to dry off and clean your clubheads. Keep a spare towel in your bag. If it rains, you can’t have too many towels.

I mentioned headcovers. Keep them only on your woods or metal woods. Golfers have a wide range to choose from. You have your cuddly animal devotees. Other players like to be identified with a particular golf club, university,or sports team. Some players are content merely to advertise the manufacturer of the club they’re using.

Bottom line? I recommend that you get headcovers with which you readily identify. Create your own persona. For example, tour player Craig “The Walrus” Stadler has walrus headcovers. Esteban Toledo, a former boxer, uses little boxing gloves. Australian Steve Elkington doesn’t use headcovers. As for your golf bag, you don’t need a large tour-sized monstrosity with your name on the side. I’ve got one because I play professionally and someone pays me to use their golf  equipment. But you should go the understated route. Especially if you’re going to be carrying your bag, go small and get the kind with legs that fold down automatically to support the bag. First, you don’t want to be loaded down on a hot day. And second, the last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself. Blend in. Be one with the environment.